Monday, April 07, 2008

The Great Pain

I am rushing around tonight trying to get through a checklist of things and out the door for church by 5pm. It is 4:30, and I decide I have time to wash the stinky D-O-G. I had him on the rope in the backyard, which I looped around the boat, then only tied to his collar with a single knot. Well, as I was spraying him with the hose, he kept trying to get away, and the knot came undone.

The instant he realized he was free (and soaking wet) he took off like a Greyhound chasing a bunny - a bunny covered in BBQ sauce.

So I go inside looking for something to tempt him into coming back to me and decide that his usual carrot won't do, because I am pressed for time. So I get a hot dog. And off I go down the street after him. Well, wouldn't you know it, our queer Great Dane is not interested AT ALL. He won't even SNIFF IT. Not organic enough for him, I suppose.

In the meantime I am just falling all over myself trying to grab his collar and waving this hot dog around while he jukes me. I can just HEAR people driving by on the street asking each other, "Did you just see a barefoot lady chasing a wet Great Dane with a hot dog?!"

I finally cornered him and got hold of his collar, and dragged him back home, past one Mom out walking with her one-year-old baby. She saw me, smiled, saw the dog, her eyes got as big as flying saucers and she picked up her baby, AND CROSSED THE STREET!! Good grief. I actually managed to get a shower and get to church on time.

Speaking of church. I. Love. Our. Church. Pastor John can preach circles around anyone else I've ever heard. If you really want to be knocked off your horse, click the link at the right that says "Liberty Church." Toward the bottom left, you can click to Listen to Pastor John's sermons. Choose Audio, then Topical. PICK ANY TOPIC THAT INTERESTS YOU. Throw a dart. You will want to hear more, I promise. They are like Pringles, you can't stop at just one. Come visit us at the first opportunity so you can hear him in person. Move here if that is what it takes!! I love this church - churches like this don't come along every day. I want to be a member for many, many years.