Saturday, May 24, 2008

Take my dog...please

It's been a while since you-know-who went to the Vet, and it was time to update his shots before we take him in week after next (dun-dun-DUN!!) to have the Blackberries removed.

He is still about 135lbs.

He dragged me all over the Vet office. There was very little I could do. I had him in a fancy Cesar Milan dog collar, and it was useless. I should have kept him in his slider/chain link collar. TOMORROW on the way to church, I am stopping at PetSmart for a PINCH collar. And while we're there, we're asking about obedience training (you know, since I have all this extra time on my hands), because this is ridiculous. We won't ever be able to have him out in public, around new people or other dogs. He's totally out of control and I practically had to WRESTLE him to the ground, where he would stay for about 9/10 of a second and then it was back at the other dog/vet tech/whoever was close by. Ugh.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

What. A crummy. Day.

I basically did everything but stand on my head today to get work done before my UPS pickup, and still didn't make it. Had to drive a dozen boxes half an hour across town. Stopped for diapers on the way home - and they forgot to order them this week. They had *2 cases.* So I will have to go back tomorrow, and doubt I have even enough to make all the orders that need to go out tomorrow. Stopped for Burt's Bees at another store - and they haven't ordered them.

I just stood there with my mouth open. I must have asked them to place that order half a dozen times in the last 3 weeks. I am out of those now and will have to buy them retail to hold me over until my regular order comes in. If they manage to place it, that is.

Got home to see that someone wants an order overnighted, but wants it with a larger size diaper than I usually use. I'd love to tell her no, but don't want her to cancel her order. After taking care of a couple of things around the house (feeding the girls, unloading & reloading dishwasher, etc.) it is now about 10:30pm, but I really have no choice (not true, I'm just making more problems for myself at this point.) So I load the girls into the Jeep thinking I will just make a quick run to Ingles for 2 packs of size 2 diapers....

...and get pulled over ****AT THE INGLES STOPLIGHT!!!!**** For expired tags. They are 5 days past their expiration. Did he write me a ticket? What do you think. Did I try to explain that I work 16 hour days and that this just BARELY slipped through the cracks? Do I try to explain that I still have to work until 4 or 5am when I get home and that an $80 ticket is going to completely cancel out this late-night supply run AND probably the whole night's work??!!

No. I don't. Because he didn't ask. He just took his sweet time writing me a ticket, and said, "Sign here." And then, "Drive safe." I found that very irritating, but then, I can't imagine there is anything a policeman could possibly say after writing me a ticket that would sound even remotely sincere. And hey, at least I'm already in the Ingles parking lot, so I may as well finish my errand.

It is now 12:30 and the girls are in bed. I have at least 6 hours worth of work that needs to be done, which will be for nothing. And a very sick feeling in my stomach that things need very much to change.

Monday, April 07, 2008

The Great Pain

I am rushing around tonight trying to get through a checklist of things and out the door for church by 5pm. It is 4:30, and I decide I have time to wash the stinky D-O-G. I had him on the rope in the backyard, which I looped around the boat, then only tied to his collar with a single knot. Well, as I was spraying him with the hose, he kept trying to get away, and the knot came undone.

The instant he realized he was free (and soaking wet) he took off like a Greyhound chasing a bunny - a bunny covered in BBQ sauce.

So I go inside looking for something to tempt him into coming back to me and decide that his usual carrot won't do, because I am pressed for time. So I get a hot dog. And off I go down the street after him. Well, wouldn't you know it, our queer Great Dane is not interested AT ALL. He won't even SNIFF IT. Not organic enough for him, I suppose.

In the meantime I am just falling all over myself trying to grab his collar and waving this hot dog around while he jukes me. I can just HEAR people driving by on the street asking each other, "Did you just see a barefoot lady chasing a wet Great Dane with a hot dog?!"

I finally cornered him and got hold of his collar, and dragged him back home, past one Mom out walking with her one-year-old baby. She saw me, smiled, saw the dog, her eyes got as big as flying saucers and she picked up her baby, AND CROSSED THE STREET!! Good grief. I actually managed to get a shower and get to church on time.

Speaking of church. I. Love. Our. Church. Pastor John can preach circles around anyone else I've ever heard. If you really want to be knocked off your horse, click the link at the right that says "Liberty Church." Toward the bottom left, you can click to Listen to Pastor John's sermons. Choose Audio, then Topical. PICK ANY TOPIC THAT INTERESTS YOU. Throw a dart. You will want to hear more, I promise. They are like Pringles, you can't stop at just one. Come visit us at the first opportunity so you can hear him in person. Move here if that is what it takes!! I love this church - churches like this don't come along every day. I want to be a member for many, many years.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Out, damn carpet, out!

Here's the smell of BEN still! All the steam cleaners of GA cannot sweeten this foul floor!!

You would think a relatively short-haired dog wouldn't shed that much, right? Okay, well, *I* thought that a relatively short-haired dog wouldn't shed that much. I have never seen anything like it. It is like he stumbled into some kind of toxic waste, except, somehow, there is still fur all over his body. It is blowing my mind. His crate has been in the corner of the living room all this time, and I have to pull it out about twice a week and vacuum behind it, and you WOULD NOT believe the hair. Well, I'm sure you know that if there is one thing that is purely impossible to keep clean, it is a carpet. From the moment you first set foot on it, it is never *really* clean again. Ben is very dander-y and well, and dang it, I like a clean house (stop making that face!! I try!!)

Anyway, since we moved into this place I have been dreaming about ripping out the carpet in the living room and office, and blending new hardwood into the existing hardwood entryway. Well, Jesse offered to make it a reality, and I jumped at the chance! So here are some pics of the installation of our new floors, which look great.


The view from the kitchen into the office.



The remnants of the old hardwood (which was glued down with enough adhesive to keep tiles on the space shuttle) on its way out!



Jesse also pulled down the old fireplace facade, which was, in my opinion, an extremely unattractive combination of painted white wood and pinkish tile. Ewww. I *love* the stacked stone, and I have to say, I think he did a pretty incredible job, it looks so beautiful and professional.



Hooray! The new wood making it's way toward the other side of the first floor. He also fixed those loose tiles between the kitchen and the living room.



The Notorious B-I-G, keeping a watchful eye. His pterodactyl talons are already doing a number on the floors, we need to get him a puppy pedicure.




And finally, the NEW view from the kitchen to the office. This was before I mopped for the first time. I couldn't have imagined, and it is difficult to describe, the immense satisfaction of running a sweet-smelling orange oil soaked Swiffer over newly installed hardwood floors, and watching every. last. dog hair. disappear, leaving nothing but the welcome scent of orange hanging in the air, and a slightly timid Great Dane to negotiate the veritable ice-skating rink that he now has to contend with on a daily basis. Every see a dog in a cartoon run in one place for about 10 seconds before he gets traction and moves forward? It's even funnier in real life.

Friday, March 14, 2008

The Little Mermaids

So I'm sitting at my desk, editing some new pictures for the website, and this little voice from around the corner says, "Hey Mom, I'm ARIEL!!" And I look up, and I see this:


My 5 year old in my upside-down bra, and a makeshift tail, which she has constructed from a Christmas skirt and a Steeler dress for the "fin" over her feet. Of course, Rooney then had to jump on the bandwagon too, and it was moments before they had torn paper "flowers" in their hair, and a blue blanket "lagoon" to swim in.
Then they brought me another bra and insisted I join the party, so I am walking around with a bra on top of my shirt. But I will spare you a picture of that. You're welcome.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Catch of the Day



Jesse caught a GI-NORMOUS striper in the lake!! I only had 3 pics left on my camera, so this was all I could take. He weighed the thing, it was about 30 pounds. This is by far the biggest fish he's caught in the lake so far. Scroll back through the previous posts and look at the other fish compared to the soda can - this one's a monster.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Run run run as fast as you can!









I got this Gingerbread cookie decorating kit on clearance and I knew these two would have a ball. Sure enough, they decorated into the night, all 10 cookies, and notice their little black lips from eating icing!

James and the Giant Fish




Jim was here and he and Jesse spent all night on the boat. They came home a little sleep deprived, but it was worth it! Check out the giant fish Jim caught, on that tiny little rod he's holding. Big ol' catfish too.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Catch Up, Reprise

A while back, Grandmother sent the girls a box full of goodies, including costumes, puzzles, popcorn, and 3 pairs of these adorable striped tights for dress-up. They spent all afternoon "skating" on the hardwood in the tights, and working the puzzle, over and over, playing and sharing like angels. Some things just don't happen everyday, so I had to snap some pics! ;)

Aunt Joey sent the girls (among other things) a *huge* jar of art supplies for Christmas. Natalie followed me around the house for days holding the jar and saying, "Mom, can we do art supplies? PLEEEEEEEEASE?!" So I finally let them dig in and they had a ball. Natalie usurped both giant fluff balls (which reminded me of Warm Fuzzies when I was in Kindergarten) right from the start, but Madeline didn't seem to mind. Notice her lower lip, puckered in deep concentration, as she tries to squeeze glitter glue onto a button above.
Natalie positioned the glider in front of the TV to watch a movie, and fell fast asleep in this pose. I had to take a picture - but looking at it makes my head hurt! Can you imagine sleeping upside down?! My brain cells are screaming just thinking about it.

Jesse and I saw "I Am Legend" tonight - not bad. We were a little miffed though, that the movie was listed by the theater as having a run-time of 2:10, but 30 of that was commercials and previews. The movie started at 7:00, but the MOVIE didn't start until 7:30, and we were back in the truck on the way home by 9:00. We liked the movie but we wished they'd developed it a little more, maybe done something more with the ending. I mean, Pirates of the Caribbean was 3 hours long, for Pete's sake! Overall though, it was a good movie, if somewhat disturbing. I used to love End-of-the-World thrillers before I had children. Now my stomach does herkies during them, because all I can think about is our girls in a scenario like that. Makes me wish for World Peace. Or want to learn my way around an assault rifle.

Monday, December 24, 2007

The Great Cupcake

Jesse took Big Ben out on his fishing boat the other day. Before they left, Jesse put Ben in one of his long-sleeve thermal shirts, and then a Steeler jersey on top of that. The big weenie was still cold, so by the time they got home, he had him bundled up in his work jacket. Jesse said he was shivering, but then when he put him in the jacket he stopped and started trotting around the boat woofing at birds onshore. Hilarious. He really seemed to enjoy the coat, which is *super* soft and warm. Perfect for a Giant Cupcake.